Wordless Wednesday- A backflip on the bar

 

Turn up the sound to hear the sound effects he makes during the flip!

A post less about Butters and more about Peanut

Alvin was diagnosed shortly after Peanut's (Elliot's) first birthday. This weekend while attending WA autism day I got to thinking about how Elliot will grow up.

I can certainly say she is not going to grow up feeling like her brother is odd or insensitive to others like him. If anything she will be more aware of people's differences. Probably better than most kids she will understand disabilities and how they affect people.

Saturday this just all kind of hit me. We were walking around the farm and visiting all the booths. Alvin wasn't feeling to hot due to having some nasty cold. Elliot however was her normal happy self. She looks past all the kids and if they were in wheel chairs, strollers or otherwise. She looks past screaming kids, meltdowns and other behaviors people see as odd. She just sees them and either stares them down in a way only she can! She is loveable and playful.

Also due to all of Alvin's issues I do keep her in gymnastics like Alvin. I keep her in though for a different reason. She needs to be around other kids her age that are normal. Who act like normal 1.5 to 2.5 year olds.

I can't say that I'm glad Alvin has autism but right now I think I wouldn't have any other way. While Alvin will struggle at times to do things she picks up with ease she will always him to teacher her about patience and how people think and act differently. Since we stay involved with the autsim community she will have plenty of exposure to so many types of disabilities that there will be so many chances for her to learn and ask questions.

The OCD mess and siblings

Many days Alvin acts normal. He runs around now more than ever playing with cars, trains or action figures. He even likes to play dress up in our clothes and shoes as well.

Then there are days like this past Sunday when it all falls apart. He has a day where his OCD tendencies get the best of him. We went to see his "uncle" (W's best friend from high school) and his wife along with their new baby girl. He was very excited and thrilled when we got there. Soon after getting there and getting his bearings about him he started playing with cars from the older boys room. He was very picky about how they would be lined up to start a race or how the patteren was when he lined them up nose to tail.

Then Elliot had to join in the party. She started picking on him. I doubt she really meant it, but she was just being herself and wanted to play with anything and everything he put his hands on. Soon it just got to be too much and every time she touched a car a complete meltdown happened. These meltdowns went on the entire time we were there. If Elliot or one of the older boys attempted to move a car out of place it was disaster. Finally we said our goodbyes and started the trip home. The ride home he slept and was generally pretty happy and remained that way until time to go to bed.

Some days I love how Elliot is his best friend and therapy. She is very fiesty and doesn't take no very well. She knows how to push her limits but at the same time loves to cuddle and share her snacks with us or the dog.

Then there are days I wish she understood. I wish she could understand how her brother just needs his space. Its not that he doesn't love her or want to play, he just needs to do his own thing for a while.

One day she will understand. One day I will answer her questions about why her big brother that she loves so much and adores doesn't act like other kids.

But will I need to tell her? Will Alvin at some point get better where she won't notice a difference? Will the OCD part of him become less pronounced to the point that she or anyone else would know?

These are all normal questions for me. Every day that he has a bad OCD kind of day these thoughts creep into my head. I try not to dwell on it and I understand that only time will tell and the best thing I can do, that we all can do is accept him for who he is today and work with him the best we can.

Helicopter Parenting a child with ASD

Helicopter parenting. We have all heard it it and know where it is. Its that parent/parents that follow thier kids all over the play ground.

One day while at the play ground with both kids I realize I have become that parent with Elliot and Alvin both in different ways.

With Elliot its because she is an almost 2 year old little girl that I'm pretty sure thinks she is a 4 year old boy. She is absolutley fearless and will climb on anything and everything around. Last weekend we even caught her climbing a 6 foot ladder trying to get to where she could hang from the monkey bars! I follow her around making sure she doesn't get in too much trouble. At the gym I just let her run. Its a fairly safe environment and she pays attention pretty well during class (for an almost 2 year old) and is generally well behaved.

Group hula hoop activity

Playing with the parachute

Practicing walking on the balance beam by herself!

Swinging around.

Alvin on the other hand is the complete opposite. At the play ground as long as he is in the general area and I can see flashes of him running on the equipment I don't care too much. The gym is another story though. To me the gym is a form of therapy and I tend to make sure he is doing what he should. He is normally pretty good during the warmup and group activity but station work is harder. He is expected to stay with a small group and one teacher and only do the activities at that station. Well for him that is really hard! There are bright colors and other activity going on that its just too hard to resist sometimes. With the gym I do tend to intervene. I have an understanding with the staff that if he gets too distracted that I do walk in and redirect him back to his group. I feel this is important to make sure he at least tries everything.

Group activity on the airtrack.

The gym stations work on specific things that work different motor skills.The other thing that stations do is work on building his confidence to try new things. The specifically challenge him to do more every week and constantly work to remove him from his comfort zone little by little.

The videos below are from show week a few months ago. Even for his routines the instructors are always working to bring him out of his shell more. This past week he even did a flip on the bar for the first time ever!

The helicopter parenting aspect comes from how I act in the gym as compared to other parents. I do get odd looks from the other parents there. If their child isn't paying attention or goofing off otherwise they generally don't care. The dirty looks I get for redirecting him is actually funny. Most people just think he is odd and think I'm over doing it but little do they know.

So what are your thoughts? Do you helicopter parent at times?

Hugs!!

So yes I'm working on another post about helicopter parenting with a child with autism/asperger's but this was too cute to share! Butters has always acknowledged his sister but never been one for much affection to others. When his baby sister came home from the hospital he just laughed at her. Tonight after just over a year and a half he voluntarily came up and held her hand and started hugging her!! I was shocked and amazed and just had to do a celebratory post!!!

Actually holding her hand! She was absolutely thrilled!

Hugs!!!

He just didn't want to let her go!

IEP progress report and Show Week

This past week was Butter's last week of school and show week at the gym. Plus we also had Austism Speaks night with the Seattle Mariner's so to say the least it was a busy week.

I've been nervous for a few weeks about the IEP progress report. I guess I saw so many improvements that I was just hoping that he was doing the same things at school.When I first read the progress report I was suprised he wasn't doing better. Most all of the remarks he got were an emerging skill except for language which was more of a mastery. After I read and re-read the comments I was happy with it. He is making progress which is the key. If he had made no progress in the areas it would have been down right depressing. Once I had time to sit down and think about it his teachers were exactly right. So overall a very promising report and plenty to work on this summer.

Tuesday night we had the Autism Speaks night at Safeco Field with the Mariner's. To say we all had a good time is an understatement! Butters was in love! The staff was so nice and many times came up to give the kids baseball cards out of no where. The especially loved the play area. Staffed at the entrance  and inside there were plenty of extra eyes just incase he decided to bolt. Also they had a strict policy of no alcohol inside the area at all which I loved! Butters was in love with the area though and we came back a few times before the game started so he could get some energy out.

Yum, Garlic fries!

Loving the play area inside Safeco Field

Chilling out in our seats before the game

Fist bump with the Moose! I was so shocked that he even wanted to get close to him!!!

Of course we had to have a hotdog at the game.

Wednesday night was the big Show Week at the Gym. To say the least I was really nervous about this but it turns out it went much better than I had imagined. Below are his routines on the bar and balance beam. I tried to get his tumbling routine on the floor but after people started clapping half way through he got freaked out and bolted away so I had to run after and retrieve him to finish the routine.

Beam routine!!

Bar routine!

So the next topic I'm planning on tackling is helicopter parenting. Does having a diagnosis make you more aware and protective of what they do and when or have you adapted to it just not phasing you anymore?

How to fail at parenting

Step one: take your child with asperger's to Sports Authority to look for a bike even though he hasn't napped.

Step two: Don't put him in a cart and try to let him walk around the store.

Step three: Cue the inevitable meltdown.

Step four: loose grip of the boy and see him to flying into the goal post of a basketball goal!

Yeah when he first hit I just thought it was another knot on the head and that we would work on this yet again and explain to him that he can't go running off.

Well once I picked him up I saw the blood bubbling out of his head. Ok no big deal still. Sure he's screaming but I would expect it. He just took a header into the basketball goal!

I get him up to the front counter and with the help of the associates get some paper towels on it. During all of this the sweetest off duty EMT came over (that ironically reminded me a lot of my bother in law) and introduced himself and asked to look him over. After a quick look over and me explaining that he doesn't communicate things well said he looked fine and more than likely didn't need any stitches. I thanked him for his help and got him to the car.

The gash on the right side of the picture is the damage he did to his forehead

The funniest part of this was as I was carrying him out of the store he was more upset about not getting to look for a bike!

Then we headed down the road to Jack in the Box for a milkshake. Because with a scare like that I think it was warranted. Even with all the screaming he calmed down quickly.

Strawberry milkshake to the rescue!

After we got home and got him cleaned up he protested the bandaid, but after given the ds and the cooking game quickly forgot it was there.

Batman bandaid!

He acted normally all night so no need for concern.I changed his bandaid to a sponge bob one but soon saw he was bleeding through it since he was still up and moving and not letting it really clot.

By the end of the night I made him wear a bigger piece of gauze taped down to help with any bleeding over night.

The bad thing is after all of this all I could do was laugh at it.I was really embarrassed that it happened in the store, but after he was so upset by not getting to look at bikes and not about his head and both of us being covered in blood, how could part of me not just laugh!