Wordless Wednesday- What Butters thinks Volume 2

Inspired by the word if (and a fellow ASD blogger)

Today a blog post came across my feed reader that stopped me in my tracks. The post is called "If" by Autism is a trip. While reading it I just had to take a step back. How many times had I thought the same thing.

So inspired by her post here is one of my own.

If Alvin didn't have Asperger's our life would be different.

Potty training at night wouldn't be such a nightmare.

We could all walk in public without worrying if someone was going to bolt due to anything spooking him.

We could have a normal bedtime process full of stories and cuddles rather than screaming matched and obsessive behavior.

I could play cars with him without his OCD getting the best of him.

Elliot could have more interactive play with her big brother using the kitchen set and stuffed animals.

My husband and I could go to a movie without who that Alvin knows well can come watch he and Elliot and can they come during naptime so there are less meltdowns.

I wouldn't dread going to grocery stores, malls or other public places out of fear of meltdown.

I wouldn't feel like I had to fight so hard for teachers, coaches and others to understand what is going on with him and why.


If Alvin didn't have Asperger's.

We wouldn't have moved across the country. Yes we moved for my job but the resources in the PNW are far better than down south. I also would have never met in person some amazing people that my husband is great friends with up here.

I wouldn't laugh nearly as much. Not a day goes by where he isn't dancing, singing or saying  inappropriate things that make us all laugh.

Elliot would not have such great exposure to others with disabilities. Since we stay involved with the community she always sees kids better and worse than her big brother and we feel like she is better for the exposure having not even turned 2.

I probably wouldn't have him in gymnastics. He would be playing ice hockey or soccer.

I would have never known it wasn't normal for a 2 year told to be able to count to 100!

I simply wouldn't have met some amazing teachers at The Little Gym. While they teach him gymnastics I think he teaches them the joy of watching a kid like him finally get it!

I would have never gained more compassion for him and kids like him. I have seen so many on the spectrum and I seriously am amazed by each child and each parent.

I would have never started this blog. Its given me an outlet to talk about what goes on, what we succeed at and the times that we struggle. While I do have a personal blog this one has so much more meaning.

What's wrong with him?

This evening before gymnastics Alvin was having one of his moments. He couldn't transition to gym from dinner and was mad at me for not letting him take his lemonade inside. After a few moments of meltdown he was able to calm down (with the lemonade I grabbed from the car). After Alvin was back to being his happy self bouncing off the walls and saying hi to his teacher one of the little girls from his class came right up to me and asked "what's wrong with him?"

The little girl was around 5 years old and the question was innocent. I was shocked by the question and honestly had no idea what to say. All I could say was he was just acting silly at the moment. I wanted to tell her more, but then again I dind't want him to be looked at any differently but wasn't sure how in the world to tell her part of what was going on with him.

So my question to people who have been at this longer than I. How do you explain it? Do you just brush it off or are you honest? How do you handle the question? Any advice would really be appreciated!

Wordless Wednesday- A backflip on the bar

 

Turn up the sound to hear the sound effects he makes during the flip!

A post less about Butters and more about Peanut

Alvin was diagnosed shortly after Peanut's (Elliot's) first birthday. This weekend while attending WA autism day I got to thinking about how Elliot will grow up.

I can certainly say she is not going to grow up feeling like her brother is odd or insensitive to others like him. If anything she will be more aware of people's differences. Probably better than most kids she will understand disabilities and how they affect people.

Saturday this just all kind of hit me. We were walking around the farm and visiting all the booths. Alvin wasn't feeling to hot due to having some nasty cold. Elliot however was her normal happy self. She looks past all the kids and if they were in wheel chairs, strollers or otherwise. She looks past screaming kids, meltdowns and other behaviors people see as odd. She just sees them and either stares them down in a way only she can! She is loveable and playful.

Also due to all of Alvin's issues I do keep her in gymnastics like Alvin. I keep her in though for a different reason. She needs to be around other kids her age that are normal. Who act like normal 1.5 to 2.5 year olds.

I can't say that I'm glad Alvin has autism but right now I think I wouldn't have any other way. While Alvin will struggle at times to do things she picks up with ease she will always him to teacher her about patience and how people think and act differently. Since we stay involved with the autsim community she will have plenty of exposure to so many types of disabilities that there will be so many chances for her to learn and ask questions.

The OCD mess and siblings

Many days Alvin acts normal. He runs around now more than ever playing with cars, trains or action figures. He even likes to play dress up in our clothes and shoes as well.

Then there are days like this past Sunday when it all falls apart. He has a day where his OCD tendencies get the best of him. We went to see his "uncle" (W's best friend from high school) and his wife along with their new baby girl. He was very excited and thrilled when we got there. Soon after getting there and getting his bearings about him he started playing with cars from the older boys room. He was very picky about how they would be lined up to start a race or how the patteren was when he lined them up nose to tail.

Then Elliot had to join in the party. She started picking on him. I doubt she really meant it, but she was just being herself and wanted to play with anything and everything he put his hands on. Soon it just got to be too much and every time she touched a car a complete meltdown happened. These meltdowns went on the entire time we were there. If Elliot or one of the older boys attempted to move a car out of place it was disaster. Finally we said our goodbyes and started the trip home. The ride home he slept and was generally pretty happy and remained that way until time to go to bed.

Some days I love how Elliot is his best friend and therapy. She is very fiesty and doesn't take no very well. She knows how to push her limits but at the same time loves to cuddle and share her snacks with us or the dog.

Then there are days I wish she understood. I wish she could understand how her brother just needs his space. Its not that he doesn't love her or want to play, he just needs to do his own thing for a while.

One day she will understand. One day I will answer her questions about why her big brother that she loves so much and adores doesn't act like other kids.

But will I need to tell her? Will Alvin at some point get better where she won't notice a difference? Will the OCD part of him become less pronounced to the point that she or anyone else would know?

These are all normal questions for me. Every day that he has a bad OCD kind of day these thoughts creep into my head. I try not to dwell on it and I understand that only time will tell and the best thing I can do, that we all can do is accept him for who he is today and work with him the best we can.

Helicopter Parenting a child with ASD

Helicopter parenting. We have all heard it it and know where it is. Its that parent/parents that follow thier kids all over the play ground.

One day while at the play ground with both kids I realize I have become that parent with Elliot and Alvin both in different ways.

With Elliot its because she is an almost 2 year old little girl that I'm pretty sure thinks she is a 4 year old boy. She is absolutley fearless and will climb on anything and everything around. Last weekend we even caught her climbing a 6 foot ladder trying to get to where she could hang from the monkey bars! I follow her around making sure she doesn't get in too much trouble. At the gym I just let her run. Its a fairly safe environment and she pays attention pretty well during class (for an almost 2 year old) and is generally well behaved.

Group hula hoop activity

Playing with the parachute

Practicing walking on the balance beam by herself!

Swinging around.

Alvin on the other hand is the complete opposite. At the play ground as long as he is in the general area and I can see flashes of him running on the equipment I don't care too much. The gym is another story though. To me the gym is a form of therapy and I tend to make sure he is doing what he should. He is normally pretty good during the warmup and group activity but station work is harder. He is expected to stay with a small group and one teacher and only do the activities at that station. Well for him that is really hard! There are bright colors and other activity going on that its just too hard to resist sometimes. With the gym I do tend to intervene. I have an understanding with the staff that if he gets too distracted that I do walk in and redirect him back to his group. I feel this is important to make sure he at least tries everything.

Group activity on the airtrack.

The gym stations work on specific things that work different motor skills.The other thing that stations do is work on building his confidence to try new things. The specifically challenge him to do more every week and constantly work to remove him from his comfort zone little by little.

The videos below are from show week a few months ago. Even for his routines the instructors are always working to bring him out of his shell more. This past week he even did a flip on the bar for the first time ever!

The helicopter parenting aspect comes from how I act in the gym as compared to other parents. I do get odd looks from the other parents there. If their child isn't paying attention or goofing off otherwise they generally don't care. The dirty looks I get for redirecting him is actually funny. Most people just think he is odd and think I'm over doing it but little do they know.

So what are your thoughts? Do you helicopter parent at times?